Hate Shot Lists? You're not alone. Try doing this.

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You're an artist, I understand that.

Your creativity and ability to see a moment and preserve it with a timeless style and flair are unmatched.

You don't need someone telling you what to shoot.

But what if the bride wants to give you some suggestions?

What if you receive...a shot list? (Dun, dun, duuuuun!)

Before diving deeper, let's define some terms for the uninitiated who haven't had this pleasure.

There are two kinds of shot lists - one is good, and one is less than good.

The good one is for the family formals and group photos, and yes, this is a very helpful and valuable list to have (Read more about shooting the formals in Issue #17).

The "less than good one" is a list of shots the bride would like you to take on her wedding day.

What's wrong with that, you might ask? OK, let's get into it.

For the bride, the wedding day is a day she's been dreaming about since she was probably too young to date. Now, it's finally happening for her, and she has ideas.

From bridal magazines to Pinterest to The Knot and basically the entire internet, there are a LOT of wedding resources she can gather ideas from when planning her day.

These ideas are fantastic especially regarding color and creative concepts for her decor. And because she's working hard to make her wedding look amazing, she should expect you to shoot these details.

BUT

While she sees design inspiration, the bride also sees cool wedding photos that woo her.

The tricky part is that many of these wooable shots aren’t real. Real moments happen because they happen, making them so magical.

Many of these magazine moments are staged shots meant to look unstaged (I call them posed shots)...and there's nothing wrong with that...except that they're not real.

Seeing other people's wedding photos can inspire some brides to say, "I want that moment at my wedding."

An example might be A shot of the groom smiling at me during the ceremony without me looking at him.* (I actually got this request once.)

The first things that popped into my head were questions. Will the groom even do this? When will he do it? Will it last long enough for me to capture it?

Now things get sticky and tricky.

You want to do your best to preserve those super-special memorable moments, but will requests like this cause you to miss other super-special moments?

This is where good communication with your bride comes in.

You want what she wants (great photos), and unless you're born without a heart (and have terrible business acumen), you also want to please her.

You need to let her know you'll be constantly looking for those spontaneous, memorable moments, BUT you also need to be savvy enough to take full advantage of those controlled moments (posed shots with the couple) to weave in some opportunities to get them being loving AND spontaneous.

When you're shooting some semi-posed shots of the couple, step back for a second and say something like, "You two talk amongst yourselves for a second while I change my lens," and while their guard is down and not posing, you peek back and shoot them being two people in love who just exchanged vows.

THOSE are magic moments, and THOSE are real moments that will override many of those less-than-real suggestions she found on her favorite wedding site.

OK, this is some nice stealthy advice, Chris, but what do you do when you're handed that dreaded list even after a nice talk with the bride?

You do what a professional would do - bite the bullet and do your best to get the requested photos.

But there is something you can do to help you both.

I recommend discussing everything on the list in detail so you're clear about what she's asking for.

This conversation tends to pull out the reality of the requests, and she'll see that many of these might not be for her after all.

She may still have a few ideas firmly embedded in her head, and you'll have to do your best to get 'em, but again, you're a pro, so you'll do your best (worst-case scenario).

When talking about these, I've found that most of the "inspiration photos" were actually staged. This should encourage you because you can stage them, too, and using my stealthy tip, make them look natural.

How do you avoid having someone give you the list in the first place?

Now, that's the real question, and I have a real answer.

It starts when you first meet. What you show the bride is what she envisions getting for her wedding.

If she sees your work and you've captured everything, she'll be comfortable and confident that you'll shoot everything at her wedding. And if you go one step further and talk about your process and how much attention you spend looking for everything important to her, she'll be even more comfortable that you'll take good care of her...and she won't even consider giving you a list of "inspirational" shots.

When you meet, talk about your photos. Tell the stories behind them and describe how sometimes, things just happen, but you were in the right place at the right time with a camera pointing right at it.

Sometimes, it is luck, but most of the time, it's your preparation and attention - that's called skill.

Then, during your pre-wedding call on the Monday or Tuesday of the wedding, ask if there is anything special or out of the ordinary that you should pay attention to.

This question should also be on your Wedding Worksheet the bride submits before this call, but it's still a good question to revisit the week of the wedding since a lot of time has passed since she saw this worksheet.

By asking for things "out of the ordinary," there is a perceived assumption that you're shooting everything "ordinary," and that's a good assumption (just make sure you do it!).

Also, during this call or meeting, ask the bride, "Is there a list you'd like me to shoot from or would you like me to just do my thing?"

This a loaded and semi-trick question because if you've established a good rapport and trust with the bride, she'll never say, "No, I think I'll give you a list. I don't trust you to do your thing."

But by asking, you're giving her the respect she deserves and she'll appreciate that.

One important thing not to forget is that bridal magazines still print those handy lists for the necessary photography shots. Look at these lists and talk about them with your bride.

These lists were created to help brides understand all the little things photographers often miss.

By addressing these first, you'll give her the confidence she wants, and that kind of confidence usually keeps any list at bay.

Remember, no one is trying to disrespect you. Brides and moms have a lot to pay attention to when planning a wedding day, and they've been making a lot of lists during their planning. They do this so they don't forget things. It's your job to convince them that they don't need a list when it comes to the photography.

Ask yourself, "What can you say to assure them that you got them covered from tip to tail?" This is what you say, and then this is what you do.

*BTW, if you want to see the photo of the groom looking at the bride during the ceremony mentioned above, check out the header image in Issue #1. Want to know how I got it? A lot of preparation and a lot of luck.

Getting a shot list is one of the little parts of the "inner game of wedding photography." THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

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Questions? Shoot me an email at [email protected]