Pressing pause on your life for 8-15 hours every week

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Today's my birthday (woo hoo), but that doesn't matter because today is also the day I'll be photographing the wedding of a beautiful young couple, and despite how glorious this day is, no one cares how old I am or what day I turn another year older.

Of course, my mom cares, but I'm not photographing her wedding day (thank goodness!)

I've said this before, but it's worth another listen. When you're in a service-based business, you should embrace the harsh truth...

No one cares about you – they only care about themselves.

The sooner you accept this and help your family to accept this, the better prepared you'll be for a successful career as a wedding professional.

Sat/9a-midnight isn't ordinary.

Working a fifteen-hour day on a weekend isn't something most folks working a traditional M-F/ 9-5 job have to experience much, and they certainly don't have an appreciation for what this lifestyle is like. That's OK.

For those of you fellow photographers who have experienced this life, I don't have to tell you what it's like.

This is a peek behind the curtain for those who have yet to have the pleasure and should probably be aware of and what they can expect.

When working a traditional job during the week, even longer than normal hours, you never really feel disconnected from your home, family and friends.

• You can check in during the day to see how your wife, husband or significant other is.

• You can check social media while you're heading to a meeting.

• You can take a text from your buddy who likes to brag about their football team.

• You can even pop home for lunch if you can to see your new baby boy or precious baby dog.

At almost any point during the day, you can stay connected with your life without disrupting your work...flow.

Not so much the case when you're a professional wedding photographer.

At a wedding, it's like being in a submarine dropped in the ocean. You're deep underwater, and your life takes a backseat to everything else swimming around you – someone else's life.

This is NOT a bad thing by any stretch, and don't take this the wrong way, but this is the reality:

To do your very best work, you must be completely dedicated to THIS wedding day above anything else.

Things happen in your life – some really good things and some really bad things, but you have to live this day in the shoes of the bride, the groom and the family.

Those shoes might not fit very well when important things are affecting you and your life, BUT on this day, for THEM, they want (and deserve) nothing more than your complete and undivided attention.

They want their location to be picturesque.

They want the flowers to be fresh, colorful and fragrant. They want the food to be presented beautifully and taste even better.

They want the music to be memorable and entertaining. They want their clothes, their hair, and their makeup to be perfect.

And they want their photographer to preserve every detail of this day so that later, they can marvel at the months of their hard work and preparation and remember everything is beautiful high res detail.

No one cares about you – they only care about themselves.

Even Michael Corleone agrees with me, "It's not personal, it's strictly business."

As a professional wedding photographer, you are running a business, and on a wedding day, it's all business.

I'm trying hard not to sound like your dad when I say this, but it's important to put your life on hold for the wedding day. Put your phone in your camera bag, turn off any notifications on your watch and be 100% present for your client from the moment you arrive to the moment you leave.

Let them know that you are here for THEM, and today, on THIS day, no matter what happens, everything is all about them.

Look, I get it. This part might be a deal-breaker for you. If you have to check your phone every five minutes, being a professional wedding photographer might not be your calling. It's better to know sooner than later.

I'm trying not to be harsh, but the truth sometimes is.

Years ago, my dad was in the hospital for two months. This was a stressful time for everyone because, at any moment, we could've received a call that things had turned for the worse.

I had to take that with me to eight weddings.

It was not easy, but I chose to work alone as a wedding photographer. It was my choice, my responsibility, and I was not going to tell the bride, "Look, I know your wedding is just getting started, but I have to leave."

If your business has other photographers you can call on, having a teammate is a great option. Same if you have any associate photographers freelancing for you.

If you're friends with other photographers and there's a chance you may have to leave, take advantage of that network, but realize that this business is ultimately yours, and whatever happens, you are the one being held responsible.

A good friend and fellow photographer was expecting his first child, and on the morning of the wedding, I got a call that he was heading to the hospital with his wife. The labor started before the wedding, so I filled in for the prep and the ceremony, and we met up at the reception...he as a proud new father.

I'm sure he had some "splaining" to do with the bride's mom later, but the bride knew, understood and all was just fine. This certainly didn't hurt my reputation either.

I had the exact same fear for the birth of each of my boys. One was in late March (not too much problem), but my second was at the beginning of June (yes, I worried about that one, for sure).

Luckily, both of my unborn sons knew I was a solo wedding shooter and respected me enough to wait until I was home before they came calling.

The big takeaway here is to remember the importance of what you're doing as a professional wedding photographer.

You're at the top of the food chain when it comes to important people on a wedding day, and that comes with both privilege and responsibility (LOTS of it!)

You get referrals based on your reputation, and that reputation is a direct reflection of how you run your service-based business.

Weddings are a service and an important one.

Need a backup plan? Make one. Odds are pretty good you'll never need it, but it's good to have it anyway.

I've never heard of anything more catastrophic than my friend having a baby on a "work" day, but he had a plan (me), and I had a plan for my weddings (him and others).

If you ever needed an excuse to keep up a good network with fellow wedding photographers, this is a REALLY good one.

Your life is important, but for us, the Wedding Photographers of the world, there's one day when someone else's life is MORE important than yours.

Learning how to dedicate your life to your clients is one of the little parts of the "inner game of wedding photography." THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

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Questions? Shoot me an email at [email protected]