The one small thing that makes a huge difference when booking the bride

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This is one of the most fundamental sales lessons I know.

You cannot be a profitable wedding photographer if you cannot sell with confidence.

What does "confidence" mean? It means believing in your skills and your ability to deliver great wedding photographs to your clients so much that if they don't want to choose you, it's their loss, not yours.

Now, that may sound a bit arrogant because it probably is…and that's the point.

I used to work for a national opinion poll when I was in college. It was a telemarketing job and NOT one for those who couldn't take rejection, even on the telephone.

Sure, there were plenty of people hired who couldn't handle it when someone hung up on them. There's not much you can tell someone who gets discouraged except, "Pick up the phone and call someone else." You can't take it personally.

Remember the line from The Godfather? "This is business, it's not personal!" I love how this line is featured in You Got Mail more but that's another story.

The Bottom Line - This is a business, so whatever happens, you can't take it personally.

Someone doesn't like your work? Fine, that's their opinion. There are a LOT of people who will love your work - that's business.

Someone doesn't like your attitude or personality? That's fine too, and also another opinion. Others will love you because of your attitude or personality - that's business.

This is about the confidence you have in yourself.

Bad News - your confidence is not something you can buy.

Good News - you can generate confidence inside your mind and your heart for free…but it's gonna take work.

Now, let's be clear: confidence is not arrogance. You can be arrogant with or without confidence, and you can be confident with or without arrogance.

I prefer to be confident with less arrogance and more humbleness, but that's just me.

How does this translate to selling? Two big ways.

The first is being confident in yourself and your product. If you're not confident in what you're selling, you'll have a much more difficult time selling it (unless you're a psychopath or a scammer).

It's important, NO essential, to offer and deliver the best product you can sell.

When you do this, The Market will determine if the price you put on your product is worth the value or if it needs to be lower or higher.

It's your responsibility to listen to The Market.

Your confidence begins this transactional process and your integrity will determine how long you'll remain in business.

The second way is actually more of a byproduct that comes from NOT being confident. It's called desperation, and it's one of the most insidious parts of selling.

Going back to my tele-polling days. When I saw someone getting discouraged and that discouragement becoming desperation, it was only a matter of time before they hung up the phone and then the towel.

No one, I repeat, NO ONE wants to hear someone beg, especially on the phone.

When you're selling, NO one wants to hear how badly you need the sale. NO ONE wants to hear about your troubles. That is NOT a successful part of the business process.

Do you know what IS a successful part of the business process? Confidence with a little bravado, yes, even for the ladies!

Guys, you've probably been through it - that girl you always liked being attracted to the "bad guy." Why is that? You've always been the good friend - always been there for her, and she's attracted to HIM, the guy who doesn't care? Life isn't fair!

OK, enough about high school. The truth is, life isn't fair, and the cool guy with the cool camera will sometimes book the wedding you wanted, but he did something you didn't do. He didn't beg for it.

Sure, he might have wanted it, too, but he didn't let the client know it. He played it cool. He might have even thrown in a little, "I'm not even sure I'm available on that day. Lemme find out," just to stir up the emotions a bit.

There are a couple of basic truths we need to understand here:

• People only care about themselves.

• People want what they can't have.

• People don’t want things to be handed to them.

• Sometimes...many times...they want the chase.

That explains high school.

This may sound like I'm getting off the rails, but stay with me. This is about your confidence and handling yourself when meeting with the bride.

You want to be genuine.

You want to be honest.

You want to keep your head even when the bride says she wants to fly you out to Napa for the engagement session (breathe…breathe… don't smile just yet).

If you've honed your skill and you're a good photographer, then this isn't about photography - This is about you.

That's what this whole newsletter is about.

Your confidence in YOU and your skills will make the difference between booking the wedding or not.

If the bride feels your confidence and does not feel your desperation, you're in a good place.

If the bride is impressed with your work and feels a connection with you, that's a better place.

Now, just make everything else all about them and not you, and you'll be in the best place...booked.

If the bride cannot afford you, that's OK. Another bride will. You must be prepared for that. But that also brings up a really important part - saying no to a bride you don't want to shoot for.

I'll talk more about this in an upcoming issue, but if you have the confidence to say, "We're not a good fit," then you'll be ready for anything. I can't emphasize this enough.

Confidence doesn't ever have to be arrogance. Being a wedding photographer is about serving, and you must be confident to serve. You must be confident in your skills, and you must be confident in your ability to sell your skills.

You don't have to wear a leather jacket or drive a motorcycle to be cool. Just be yourself and show off your confidence and class as a wedding professional. That's why the bride is talking to you, isn't it?

The WHY of being a wedding photographer is one small part of the "inner game of wedding photography. THIS is what I write about each week in this newsletter.

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If you're interested in becoming a wedding photographer but don't know where to start, I can help.

Shoot me an email at [email protected]